you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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