a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
