nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
