i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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