Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
