Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
