I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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