She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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