whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I supernannyed him into submission
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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