I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
