thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My pussy is not your playground.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
