just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
