idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
