You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
