I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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