all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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