so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
