im drinking this country out of the recession.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
