Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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