did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
