That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
