we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Fuck appropriateness.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
