he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
