He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
