arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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