i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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