its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
