i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
