All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
