how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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