she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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