At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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