i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
