At least make sure they are 18
Why
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
