you traded sex for a burrito?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
