CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
