My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
