just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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