Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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