The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
