Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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