She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
