ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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