they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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