I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
