I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
