we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
