yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
