Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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