playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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