im drinking this country out of the recession.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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